Date: Tue, 25 Sep 2001 02:10:47 -0400
From: damon taylorTwo days before the attack on Washington and Manhattan, I was mugged by four people a few blocks from my home. I was going to a party a few blocks away, and I had seen them over my shoulder as I turned a corner and walked down the poorly lit street where the event was held.
For a minute, I thought everything would be OK because a woman came out onto her porch as I walked by. "OK, there's someone out here, I'll be alright." I began to pray to ease the anxiety and tap into calm, to remind myself not to fear for loss of... something. My body, my safety, my stuff? I can't recall what all I said in this mental aspiration, I just know that it was spontaneous and heartfelt and I was feeling pretty open and calm.
And then there were rapid footsteps and a solid blow to the back of my head. In a typical response, even facing this threat, I turned and asked in a half-stunned, half-indignant manner: "What are you _doing_?"
Moments later, after I'd tried to run toward the driveway of the building I had been headed for, I was being held down to the ground and punched and kicked in the head. It was only at this point that one of the attackers demanded my money (all $8 and no wallet in my pocket). Again with the backtalk: "I could give it to you if you'd get off me!" So they got that and my bag, which contained the Nikon FM I'd bought almost exactly a year ago.
The next few moments are kind of fuzzy, but I remember standing up, alone, and walking back to my place. Even as I trudged up the sidewalk, I made more aspirations for all beings to be released from suffering and stress, for all to have the things that they need (so that they don't rob or deprive others), and I prayed for the easing of pain of all those people who might've experienced similar attacks or theft at that time anywhere in the city or country.
Once I was home, I called friends and then did several prostrations before my shrine until they arrived. They took me to the hospital and a few hours later, I was released with a Percoset in my system and a swollen face and lip. No concussion. No broken bones. A few abrasions. While I sat in the exam room, or in the CAT tube, or had x-rays, I tried to focus on mental prayers and mantras, wondering about what karma had just ripened, how unfortunate it was for the people who attacked me, and the sad web of suffering in general.
Over the next day or so, I took it easy, looking to move on and move out of the neighborhood. My family visited me, and I talked to a lot of people. On Tuesday I went to work.
I don't watch television and rarely listen to radio news, so I showed up at 10:20 with no idea what had happened. A few minutes later, I had gleaned enough from the ABC simulcast on the radio to know that a dreadful event had occurred. I was staring into the bowl of oatmeal I'd prepared, shocked to silence and distressed at the number of lives I thought had been ended, when it was announced that one of the Trade Center towers had collapsed...
Almost a week passed before I wrote about either of these events. On the 16th, I began to write a message that would have put the attack on me in perspective with the plane attacks; how the former cultivated the ground for compassionate response to the latter. It turned into a call for compassion and hope and focus in regard to all those who had been or would yet be affected, with no reference to my own suffering (which had become even less personal or painful; I'd healed pretty well in five days).
Over the next few days, I was met with this steady stream of positive aspiration and yearning for wisdom, restraint and connection in order to heal the devastation and to prevent its escalation. I received email from people who I'd only recently met (or who I've not met at all) that contained the same hopeful, hurt and thoughtful message. I was amazed and inspired by this. I still am.
I (along with the members of the local sangha) also received guidance from our spiritual teacher on how to orient and control our thoughts in regard to this disaster. As an admonition against feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, she made that point that "we have never known what is going to happen next. We've never known." It is best for us to recognize and accept this circumstance, she said, and to apply ourselves to practice and calm, compassionate response. This was necessary not only for our stability and benefit, but so that we would be able to aid those who need us at this time.
"Everybody has something to offer, something to give, and it is our duty to help others mine that understanding and activity within themselves." It's this essential aspect of shared, interconnected life and destiny, and the potential outcomes of our thought and actions at this time, that has left the largest impression on me.
Again and again during the past two weeks, I've had to acknowledge the fortune that I have with my life and my connection to sources of wisdom and its teachers. I'm glad that I am able to promote and generate the benefits of this wisdom for others. I am very happy to have received the words and concerns and declarations of many friends and colleagues and other passengers on planet Earth. I have a sense of hastening change, of a massive social or global imperative for responsibility and accountability and equanimity. I sincerely hope that the illusions and constrictions of fear and hatred can be overcome by respect and love. This will be realized, of course. I just hope that this world might experience its emergence into peace sooner than later.
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